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#FrankieWIP Long Time No See!

Frankie Av

A quick update about Emergence and why I’ve not been around much.

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi MALEVOLENCE

#FrankieWIP Catching Up!

Frankie Av

Hi everyone! I do apologize for being absent a while. I was ill for three weeks and only just beginning to feel like myself again. I’m still a bit rough, so no video today!

I’ve been editing Emergence with every free moment I get when I have the motivation. It’s going good so far, though there have been days I’ve stared at a chapter for hours before actually doing something! XD But that is a hold-back particular to my fibromyalgia, and-because I know this-I forgive myself if I’m unable to complete more than one chapter a day.

A few days ago when I was unable to concentrate at all on writing, I read the next few chapters of Emergence. I read up to chapter twenty-six, and the more I read, the more I was convinced that someone else wrote the pages then stuck them in my drive. They just seemed too good and creepy to be something I had written in a hurry during NaNoWriMo. It was quite surprising to find that one or two chapters will only require a little editing, unless I change parts of the story. Which I did when rewriting the last chapter I worked on. Not a huge change, but one which will have future ramifications for the characters.

Through reading, I discovered that I have pretty much solved how the third book to the trilogy will play out, so I’m very pleased! I knew how the third would end, but only an inkling on why it would end that way. Now, looking at everything with fresh eyes, I see the threads I wove into the story which will accumulate to complete the third book. It’s all very exciting. In fact, I got so excited about it that I jumped onto the Dead Pete society conversation and just squee’d for a few minutes! XD

So, that’s about it for me, save to say I’m still collecting My Little Ponies and geeking out over new additions to my collection. I’m also planning to make a display for them this weekend! I’m a very busy Dragon!

Hope you are all well, and I’ll catch you all next week 😉

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi MALEVOLENCE

 

#FrankieWIP NaNoWriMo Ends and Hardback Malevolence!

Frankie Av

Finished NaNoWriMo on just over 85 thousand words! I also ordered a hard-backed copy of Malevolence and it is so COOL!

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi MALEVOLENCE

#WhateverWednesday Goal Achieved!

Frankie Av

Well, I managed to hit the NaNoWriMo 50k word goal today and I’m still writing. I’ve not finished Emergence quite yet, only completed the 50k NaNoWriMo challenge. I’ll keep adding to the total as I go and hopefully will be finished soon 😀
I hope everyone taking part is doing well! Just remember, it’s not a race, nor a competition, it’s simply a goal to achieve or strive towards. Whatever you manage to write, well done! Keep going! 😀

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F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi MALEVOLENCE

 

#FrankieWIP Halfway There!

Frankie Av

I hit the 25k mark yesterday on NaNoWriMo! That brings the tally for Emergence at approximately sixty-five thousand and just over halfway through writing!
Music by Kevin MaCleod at Incomputech.com

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi  MALEVOLENCE

#WhateverWednesday And They’re Off!

Frankie Av

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NaNoWriMo started yesterday and I think I’ve made a pretty good start considering I’ve worked two consecutive 12.5 hour night shifts these last two nights! I have almost 5000 words written and plan to write more after I upload this blog.
What I love about NaNoWriMo is not just the writing, the goal setting and the planning, it’s how fired up all my writing friends are. How their imaginations are creating an explosion of ideas all over the writing forums and groups. There is excitement in the air, a real buzz of creativity and everyone is enjoying themselves!
Of course, we are only into day two, but that excitement never really fades. Some might get disheartened at times, maybe stuck a little, probably frustrated, but the excitement of writing a novel in 30 days wins out in the end!

Even though I am sleep deprived, even though my mind is working slower than usual, and even though I am getting distracted by almost everything today, I set a word count goal and I intend to meet it. So I will go make yet another coffee, stretch my body out a little, maybe fire up Spotify to keep me company, and then write ALL the words 😀

Good luck to everyone participating in NaNoWriMo this year! I hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi  MALEVOLENCE

#WriteTip Dream Writing: Divisional Spirituals; A Short Story

Frankie Av

I know a lot of writers who use writing exercises to help them practice. While I believe it is a great way to keep up word counts and a useful exercise all round, I never could get into it. Someone gives you a prompt then you go away and write about that prompt. The problem for me is that I either find the prompts boring or unimaginative. The writing exercises I enjoy are based on my dreams and nightmares. I have such crazy dreams that I have a lifetime supply of prompts to write about. Dream writing doesn’t have to be perfect or long winded, it’s simply an exploration of the wildest part of my imagination. This is my latest, written yesterday after an unusual dream the night before. It was very vivid and I remember most of it. The feelings I experienced during the dream stayed with me all day. It all seemed really important, very special and urgent.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my exploration of my crazy dream!

December 15th, 2151.

In the mid 2050’s scientists finally proved the existence of the soul. They don’t exist in some vague place in your heart or chest as once believed. The soul actually exists in the head, within the brain itself. When the proof was first published it sparked outrage throughout the world and was met with great cynicism. For many years science has been used to negate such fanciful imaginings, disproving God and the bible while destroying archaic beliefs and notions. Yet there they were, telling the world that the soul exists.

People began to wonder that if the soul exists, surely God must do also? In time a new religion was created; Soulism. The greatest teaching of the Soulist Churches was that God existed, and in order to get your soul into his loving embrace, you had to find Him. In a way, it was their way of forcing more pliable scientists to prove God existed once and for all. Not that they did. But what these scientists did prove, was that not every soul is equal. They discovered that some souls were fifty percent smaller than others. They went further and discovered that each of these half-souls, were actually part of another, and so Divisional Spirituals were discovered.  

Divisional Spirituals, or Divuals for short, are created when one soul is split between two bodies. These half-souls can never be complete until the death of the bodies each inhabit. Only then can the two halves become one again. Divuals are not soul-mates, that is something completely different. They are not two souls which were always meant to be together, they are souls torn apart during the universal recycling of spirit and matter–another thing discovered by the scientists. Souls are recycled and reused endlessly. This discovery led some to believe this proved the past-life phenomenon; when a person believes they have lived before. Anyway, no one knows the reason for soul destruction, or even why both halves end up inhabiting two separate corporeal bodies–often hundreds of miles apart. Some have hypothesised that Divuals are created when part of the soul leaves the dead body while the other half tries to remain behind. Perhaps this half has some sentimental notion attached to the old vessel, or perhaps it just can’t shake itself free and so the soul gets torn in two. It is further hypothesized that the fact matched Divuals can differ in age means that the two halves of the soul are recycled differently. Perhaps one half reaches the stage of rebirth many years before the other due to damage caused by the initial tearing. Perhaps the half which gets out first is simply recycled quicker, no one actually knows. The one thing the world does know, is that compatible Divuals die at the same time, presumably so the two halves of the one soul can combine again.

I was eight when I first found out about Divisional Spirituals and what it meant to be and live as one. My mother told me she was one. I remember at the time I didn’t understand what she meant. I thought she was telling me she had a twin sister somewhere. She often spoke about how death would make her soul whole, something else I never understood until I was older. I used to worry that she would die just so she could find her twin sister and leave me behind. But she didn’t. Well, she did die, but not until I was an adult of many years.

I remember thinking she was crazy. Especially when I started to read about the phenomenon myself. I didn’t look into Divuals and the proof of souls discovery until I was in my early teens. I thought it was a load of bullshit. I thought that some group of scientists had either been smoking something strong at the time of the discovery, or else they were playing a very big joke on humanity. But I changed my mind when I learned that I myself am a Divual.

When I was seventeen, my mum took me to the local Soulist church. The leaders of the Soulist church main goal was to reunite Divuals. When I was told I was a Divual, I thought of my mum and wondered if it meant I also had a sister out there who I would one day meet. The leader told me that if I ever did meet my other Divual half, they would trigger the Combination ceremony and join us. I have to admit this made me kinda scared. I mean, sure, it would be nice to meet my other half, but to join with them? What exactly did that mean? Marry them? Be physically joined somehow? It wasn’t until a few years later I discovered exactly what the Combination ceremony actually entailed. I stopped looking for my other half after that.

It is said that around a third of the human population are Divuals. One thing a Divual knows is just how lonely life is. This isn’t something which I can explain to any normal person with a full intact soul. There is no real way to explain it. But it’s as if there is a huge gaping hole deep inside me, filled with cold and lonesomeness. It’s like a pit of despair trapped inside you which continually sucks away your essence until you are nothing but a pathetic depressed individual. There’s just something missing, and without this thing you can barely function. But, you learn to live with it.  So yeah, there are a lot of really sad people in the world.

Once a year, on the anniversary of the discovery of the soul, there is a worldwide celebration. Soulist Day is on the first weekend of August every year and Soulism conventions are held around the world. It is a day in which Divuals come together to acknowledge their partial soul and perhaps heal it if they meet their other half. Combination ceremonies are held during these conventions, which is one reason why I rarely go to them. But, I went to this year’s Soulism convention a few months ago, and I was unlucky enough to meet my other half.

The conventions are a little like sci-fi conventions of old. People of the same mindset with the same interests gather together to enjoy their uniqueness. There are huge stalls with anything from summoning charms to soul talismans said to combine half-souls without the need of a combination ceremony. Now, these things are merely trinkets, they are just curious items with no such powers, but I like them. They come in all kinds of shapes, colours and designs, and I’ve collected them for years. I find them pretty, but not at all useful.

I was standing at a talisman stall when a small boy approached me. He had blond hair and large blue eyes. He was smiling as he tugged my sleeve. I looked around to see if his parents were anywhere, but he seemed to be alone. I asked him if he was lost, and he replied; “Not anymore.” I realised then, as I looked into his unusually wise and bright eyes, that I was looking at my other half, the Divual with the other half of my soul.

His parents appeared a few minutes later. His mother eyed me suspiciously as they dragged the young boy away. I guess they didn’t realise that their son’s other half could be an old woman. I suppose I would be suspicious too, you can’t be too careful these days, especially with kids and strangers. But when that little boy disappeared into the crowd, the loneliness I had felt for years seemed to double with every reluctant footstep he took. I was sure I’d never meet him again. That the chances of our one soul ever being reunited was so slim as to be none. When that little boy’s mum pulled him away, it felt as if that cold hole inside me had grown. Almost as if my own half-soul shrank small with grief.

I didn’t go after them. I mean, how could I ever make a normal soul understand what the problem was, or how it felt to live with only half a soul? It’s inconceivable, unbelievable. Even a person with a huge imagination can’t even begin to understand what it is to live as a Divual. How could I even start to explain to a young boy’s mother that me–a seventy-eight year old woman–was her nine year old son’s perfect match? It would sound seedy, creepy, it would sound so very wrong. It would probably earn me a trip to the hospital with a broken jaw and a police escort to jail once I was treated. And how could I ever expect that mother to allow her precious son to go through a Combination ceremony, for him to die at my side just so his little half-soul could join with its other half? No, I wouldn’t and couldn’t ask nor want such a thing.

I paid for the talisman I had gripped in my hand and left the convention with the understanding that my soul would forever be a simple half, never able to reach its full potential while never fully existing in this life. He was so young, and I was much to close to death for our half-souls to be joined in this life. My half-soul would be recycled without its other half, and so it would continue to exist until such times as both halves came free at the same time, in another life. 

As I walked outside the building and through the car park, I heard someone shouting. When I looked back, I saw the mother of the boy running after me. I was scared, so sure she knew what I was and that she wanted to make sure I never went near her son again. So I turned away and kept on walking. She caught up to me a few seconds later, stopped me going any further by grabbing hold of my arm. She didn’t seem angry, in fact, when I looked at her, she smiled sadly. She said it was customary for Divuals to exchange a gift with their other half. That her son wished to gift something in recognition of his half-soul.

I saw her son run up behind her, those bright eyes shining as he made his way towards us. He handed me a little stuffed brown teddy bear with a black hat on its head. There was a small piece of paper folded up and tucked inside a bow around its neck. He smiled at me then he and his mother went to walk away. I stopped them, gave the boy the talisman I just bought and thanked him. I watched them leave, wanted so very much to join them and enjoy some time with my other half. Because, when we were so close, I felt almost whole, almost complete. As if the dark pit inside of me disappeared.

When I got home, I placed the little bear on my shelf in the living room. Pride of place on the somewhat empty and dusty wood. I took the little piece of paper out and unfolded it, only to find two pieces of paper. The first one was from the boy. He had written it himself, that was clear. He’d tried to make the writing neat and tidy, large rounded letters which were joined in parts, broken in others. It said, “One day soon our soul will be one. I’m glad I met you.”

I didn’t quite know what to make of it. Then I read the second note. The mother had written this one, the handwriting was careful and clear. It said; “Terminal illness will force the day sooner than I can bear. He has some time left, but I’m not ready to let him go. We know who you are. We will come for you when it is time.”

It felt as though my heart shattered into a million pieces. Tears soaked my face as I cried piteously while rereading the two notes over and over. They knew who I was, had found me before I had even looked for them. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for her to see me, knowing what I ultimately represented in her young son’s life.

It’s not often a person knows the day in which they will die. It’s not even often that a person knows how they will die. But I do. And it will be at the side of my other half; the tragically young and most beautiful Divual I’ve ever known.

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi  MALEVOLENCE

#WhateverWednesday Angels and Pharaohs

Frankie Av

I’ve been interested in world mythology for many years. I’ve researched and read about various myths, legends, ancient religion and cultural beliefs. Half of my personal library holds volumes on the subjects. Of everything I’ve read, I’ve always been most interested in Ancient Egypt and Angels. Neither should come as a surprise if you know me well enough. Both subjects have fascinated me from a young age. In fact, back in 1988 my aunt took me to the Gold of the Pharaohs exhibition in Edinburgh. I remember standing in front of Tutankhamen’s death mask, mesmerised. My aunt would take me to see other things in the exhibition but I always ended up back in front of that mask whenever there was a space for me to push my way in front. There was just something…otherworldly, about it. It was magical, steeped in something almost sensual. I understood this, yet I was only 13 years old at the time. It was almost as if the Pharaoh himself was staring at me, trying to tell me something important which I just could not comprehend. I still get shivers from the memory and hope to see the mask again some day. The only other time I felt that kind of yearning to know more, was when I researched angels.

It was while researching various religions and cultures that I became intrigued by angelic entities. There are many Gods and countless more deities and lesser gods in both ancient and current religious and cultural belief systems. Of them all, angels just appeal to me. People with wings who can fly! But then, they are not people. They are God’s weapons. The duality of angels is hard to reconcile but fascinates me. On one hand they are utterly perfect beings, romanticised as being large winged protectors with flowing robes and long hair. On the other, they are also God’s warriors, holy weapons who will slaughter if commanded. Cruel and relentless, they will stop at nothing and will slaughter innocents to carry out that which their Father commands. As I say, I find it fascinating. Do I believe they are real? Do I believe that the Gods of ancient Egypt were real? Well, it depends how you ask me the question.

You see, I believe in the multiverse theory. I believe that there is an Earth on which angels do indeed exist. Another where the Egyptian pharaohs and their Gods reign supreme. There are also worlds on which dragons exist, and ghosts and one in which the loch ness monster belongs to the dominant species. Because I often like to believe that if it can be imagined, it is because the knowledge of one reality slips into another and thus myths and legend are born. Fanciful? Yes. Does it surprise you that I have two books in the pipeline after Emergence; one about angels and one about the multiverse? Probably not. My imagination is big enough to imagine such things and allows me to bring them into existence through words and paint and digital ink.

It is my belief and knowledge framework which allows me to be creative. It allows me to question things, to muse over the deeper meaning of life and the universe. It even allows me to accept that in some reality, the answer to life and everything is in fact, 42.

The reason for this rather existential blog post is because I finally watched the last three episodes of the television show Dominion. A television show about angels, the end of days and a chosen one–of course it intrigued me. With strong characters, enjoyable story-lines, fantastic sets and effects and mostly awesome acting, Dominion was one of my favourite shows. Then it was cancelled after only two seasons. Having watched and fallen in love with many television shows cancelled before their time, I know only too well how awful it is for a show to be ended on a cliffhanger, never to be concluded. I feared this for Dominion and so refused to watch the final episodes. I decided to watch them yesterday and was as disappointed as I knew I would be. It didn’t just end on a cliffhanger, it ended on the mother of all cliffhangers. I just can not get my head around how such a great show with obvious reams of potential for a third season could be cut from the fans and viewers the way it was. I really should have known, I have experienced it before and it tears the geek heart from me.

But, what I have that others might not, is the ability to end the story myself in a way I find pleasing. I’ve done it before. I’ve made animations to finish off an unfinished television story. Written fan fiction just to get some closure on a show I have fallen in love with. Why? Because then my story-ending becomes a piece of the multiverse, therefore somewhere in the universe the characters and their stories continue, on another world where Michael and Gabriel and Alex continue to exist. It is most likely the same world from which the story originated, pieces of which slipped into our own reality to become the idea for a television show. A big huge circle of creation through the multiverse in which angels and demons exist.

Now, did I just write you all a strange short story for Whatever Wednesday? Or did I just tell you the absolute truth? Well, there are two dimensions where both are true. But in which reality do you currently exist? 😉

https://www.change.org/p/netflix-save-dominion

F.R. Donaldson lives in scenic Scotland. She is the author of the psychological sci-fi MALEVOLENCE