#WhateverWednesday – Neopets: The Altador Cup!
Time to talk about one of my shittier hobbies, haha. The wonderful world of Neopets!
Neopets is an online virtual pet community that is free to play. You can have an account (or five, but no more). On each account, you can have four pets (or five, if you pay a monthly subscription fee with other perks). The Neopets virtual world is a microcosm of the real world – the world operates on virtual currency called Neopoints. You can have a shop, trade, or auction goods. There are hundreds of free games to play. You have to feed your pets (though they don’t actually die…they just look really sad).
Every so often, the site experiences events. Some are seasonal, like the yearly Festival of Neggs (kind of like easter). Some are more mysteries/stories/RPG-like quests called Plots, which usually have a story for you to follow as you complete puzzles and solve clues, sometimes battle monsters. And sometimes…sometimes we get a little…competitive.
Which brings me to the subject of this post:
The Altador Cup!
Every year in June (for the entire–month–of–June), there’s an event to mirror the World Cup of Soccer. Each person can join one of eighteen teams, representing some of the major settings of the Neopets world:
- Kreludor – the land of the moon
- Virtupets – the space station
- Mystery Island – an island paradise
- Faerieland – a fantastic, magical land that’s the home of faeries
- Meridell – a medieval themed land with a penchant for potatoes
- Brightvale – Meridell’s rival, though more bookish than brave
- Darigan Citadel – Meridell’s nemesis, home of the dastardly Lord Kass
- Roo Island – a silly, bouncy place that doesn’t take itself too seriously
- Tyrannia – a prehistoric, primitive land
- Moltara – a world carved into a volcano
- Haunted Woods – a Halloween themed spooky forest
- Kiko Lake – a quiet, vacation haven
- Terror Mountain – an ice-themed locale
- Lost Desert – an Egyptian themed desert land
- Shenkuu – an Asia-inspired land
- Altador – a world inspired by ancient Greece and Rome
- Krawk Island – PIRATES!
I’ve chosen to play for Meridell. I love the quotes my team uses for chat board titles hailing from Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and classic films from the genre like Willow, Monty Python’s Holy Grail, Merlin, etc.
The tournament is laid out in a structure we don’t necessarily appreciate. In the past, it has been single round elimination and double round robin. Nowadays, it’s this silly everyone for himself bracket system.We play like hell for 5 days. Our worth moves us up or down in a bracket of six teams. Then we get a bye day, then do it all over again.
There are four games to play:
- Yooyuball – the main event. It’s like soccer. See?
- Shootout Showdown – try to shoot five goals.
- Make Some Noise – a game where you ferociously tap two keys and maybe sometimes get a bonus letter.
- Slushie Slinger – pretend to be a harassed waitress serving drinks to angry customers.
If you’re thinking these games sound horrible, that’s because they are. Worse yet, the object of the tournament is to play as many times as you can each day to help your team. There’s a cap on how many times you can play each of the four games, but it still amounts to about twelve hours each day of solid play if you want to max out all four games. And you get rank points on bye day, too. Rank points mean prize points at the end of the cup to buy prizes with.
Basically, it’s a competitive gamer’s worst grinding nightmare.
- Not a fun game
- The more you play, the more points you get for more stuff when it’s over.
- SHINY TROPHY